The many games we play

By Jonathan Pechon
Editor

My taste for competition has driven me to some unhealthy lengths. Whether it’s staying up all hours just to finish some task in a video game or driving alone all the way to Lubbock just to participate in an event, my mind will at times not allow my body to rest until it has had its fill of exercise, of pushing itself to accomplish whichever goal that has been set before it.

A good deal of that, however, is in my past. I don’t make so many long trips by myself just to play a game. I try to make sure I get enough sleep so I’m not a total and complete zombie when I walk into class, so playing the newest Zelda game until 3:30 in the morning really isn’t something I can do regularly. That $400 I might put aside for a PS2 and some games? Bills.

Occasionally, when I’m sitting down to start a session of game-playing, I consider what else I could be doing at that moment. Could I be out doing something better for myself, or for the world? Is the time I’m spending shuffling and dealing cards with friends potentially better spent elsewhere, whether it’s behind a desk reading and writing, or even out “mingling?”

Am I, in fact, living?

The honest truth is, without that feeling of competition in my life, I almost feel incomplete. The vein I tap runs right through my brain; the needle can be any number of things, but all of them produce a winner of some kind in the end. My escape into games at times has become a circle of self-medication where I work to avoid the very real issues in my life.

To compound this, the volume of games that are available to be played competitively is incredible. Several groups of friends play various card games around the Metroplex. Computer gaming centers abound, providing a wide range of games to play with and against groups of people. There are two weekly meetings of competitive Scrabble players in the Dallas area. Dozens of games are easily accessible from my home computer and broadband Internet connection. The list goes on and on.

I’ve come to realize that the urge to compete is very real to me. It’s something tangible within my personality that helps to define who I am; it’s also something that can be a limiting factor in my life, if I allow it to dominate me. I came to realize, some time ago, that there actually is more to life than the next chance to game.

So the question becomes this: how do I incorporate this competitive spirit into my everyday life? How do I make it work for me?

Examining my life, I’ve come to see how the lives I have wanted to live have fallen into the pattern of attempting to answer this question. I have fought to put myself in a direction that has a meaningful destination by returning to school. I’ve set high goals for myself by considering law school as a viable option for my life. I’m not certain if I can accomplish what I’ve set out to do, but I certainly know that it is worth trying.

In the meantime… I’m doing the best I can to accomplish the tasks ahead of me, however difficult they appear. I keep myself going day-in and day-out, and I take care of business and get myself into class.

And I’m still shuffling and dealing the cards, sometimes. In its own way, it’s therapeutic; gaming is still a part of my life, and something that I can make use of.