Behind Closed Doors
Christan Amundsen is a professor of psychology
and religion. He has a private psychotherapy practice
and teaches a course on human sexuality at NLC.
Dear Dr. A:
My boyfriend told me that semen helps prevent
breast cancer. Is that right?
— Wondering
Dear Wondering:
Yeah, right. I think we all know what this is
about, but the answer is no.
Although semen is protein and has, I suppose,
some limited nutritional value, that it is an
agent to prevent breast cancer is just a tale
told by men desiring certain things from their
wives or girlfriends.
Your boyfriend’s desire for oral sex is
probably the real issue, and perhaps that’s
what you two need to talk about.
This issue is not unusual, of course. Women often
ask me why oral sex is so important to men. There
are a great many psychodynamic answers to these
questions, but the simplest is that it feels good,
and has a kind of emotional intimacy to it.
Open up some lines of communication with your
boyfriend. Make it safe to talk about the real
issue. It will strengthen your relationship, and
make your sex life better.
Dear Dr. A:
Why are men so obsessed with breasts ? Whenever
I’m talking with a male friend, his eyes
always seem to wander to that area of my body.
I used to get upset by it, but now I just realize
that’s what guys do. What do you think?
— Interested
Dear Interested:
Yup, men do have a kind of locked-in issue with
breasts.
Of course, breasts represent the source of life
and nurturing, and it is our first contact with
our mother that sustains our lives as infants.
Plus, I suppose, most men would say they also
feel good, and since men don’t have anything
like that on their bodies (at least in any developed
kind of way), breasts are intriguing.
Your response to this seems quite enlightened,
and while it feels to many women as if men are
objectifying them through this “obsession,”
I think it’s more biology and basic psychology
than it is anything else.
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