Behind Closed Doors
Christan Amundsen is a professor of psychology
and religion. He has a private psychotherapy practice
and teaches a course on human sexuality at NLC.
Dear Dr. A:
I was wondering, are women
becoming more sexually aggressive,
or am I imagining things?
— Just Wondering
Dear Just Wondering:
You're probably not imagining
things. Woman have become much
more comfortable with their sexuality
over the past few decades,
and the rules of dating and having
an intimate relationship have
changed as well.
It's not uncommon nowadays
for a woman to ask a man out on a
date and for her to make the first
move toward a sexual component
in the relationship..
Long gone are
the days when a
woman was supposed
to be demure
and unknowlegeable
about sexual matters.
This change
can be disconcerting
to men,
who find themselves
in a strange new world. Just
as roles have changed for women,
roles are changing for men, too.
Your letter speaks to this dilemma. It will
be interesting to see where all this
leads us
Dear Dr. A:
When my boyfriend
broke up with
me, he told me that I
wasn't smart enough
for him. I was really
hurt. I'm not sure if
I should talk to him
about this, or just let it go. What
do you think?
— Smart Enough
Dear Smart Enough:
I can only imagine how you felt.
Of course, I don't know the circumstances
of your break-up, but
being told that you weren't smart
enough was a rather low blow.
My sense is that you should let
it go. Why? Because anyone who
would be that crass and harsh isn't
going to care about your feelings
anyway.
Be smart. Don't go chasing
someone that clearly doesn't appreciate
you or care about your
feelings.
Let go. |
