Dear Dr. A:
My boyfriend is an ex-drug addict. Well, he might still be using, I’m not sure. His behavior is erratic, and now I’m supporting him because he lost his job because he didn’t go. I think about leaving him, but I feel guilty because he’s such a mess. I ask him about everything, but he says he’s fine. He’s not fine. Everyone knows it. What do I do? Should I get out, or can I help him, and stay with him so he’ll get help?
— I Need Advice

Dear “I Need Advice”:
You sound like the classic codependent. He’s messed up on drugs, and you’re messed up on him. If you’re staying with him merely because you feel guilty leaving him, then I think you really know the answer to that one. Leave. Let him deal with his addiction. Be honest with him, that you can’t live like this, and that it has destroyed your relationship.

At the risk of sounding like a cliché, he has to reach bottom. As long as you help him to be comfortable where he is, he will never be forced to come to terms with his problems. It is not selfish to ask yourself what you want your life to be like.

Ultimately, you have to find the courage and strength to be who you want to be, and if being with him doesn’t fit that decision, then you have to move on. As is frequently the case, you already know what you need to do.

Dear Dr. A: My girlfriend is not on birth control and we hate condoms. When we have sex I pull out just before I, you know, ejaculate. A friend told me that she can still get pregnant. Is that true? I’m not ready for marriage and the baby thing.
— Not Ready

Dear “Not Ready”: The practice of pulling out before ejaculation is called: “POP” – the pull out and pray method, because yes, she can get pregnant. There is possibly sperm in the preejaculatory fluid before ejaculation. Use condoms.